Reflections on this pregnancy

I have found it interesting, experiencing this pregnancy, knowing that it is my last pregnancy. In some ways I have been trying to savor all the moments, hold them for longer to try to remember them. In other ways I have wished this pregnancy would go faster, and be over. It has been my most difficult pregnancy, with the longest stretch of morning sickness in the beginning, and after a few weeks of finally feeling better, struggling with anemia that I am thinking was probably pretty severe while we were in Hawaii - my numbers when we came back, after having been on floradix for a month, was 9.x. After another 4 weeks it was up to 13. The anemia was really so intense, I felt like I wasn't going to make it through the pregnancy. I'm so glad I hadn't experienced that with the other two!

Now with a few weeks to go, I am to the uncomfortable stage and trying to remind myself I was uncomfortable with the other two as well! With Leila the PUPPP rash was so terrible, with Elyas my sciatic nerve was acting up because of his posterior positioning. This time my hips are so achey. The aches and pains are of course worth the tiny life waiting to join us Earthside.

The other night I could feel the baby practicing breathing. Even Ali was able to feel it through the belly. This is something I didn't experience with the other two, and was really shocking and beautiful. It was so clear that that was what baby was doing. It makes me realize, this baby is really getting ready to come into the world. It's just so amazing, growing another life! This baby's activity has been so visible - little feet and knees brushing across the belly, a butt sticking out. I don't know how much of it is the baby (perhaps big? certainly long legged), and how much is the diastasis - the separation of the abdominal muscles that has left no muscle over the now quiet large belly. Still, it is amazing to see the dance of life baby does.

I am so curious to see if this baby will be a boy or girl. I have been thinking girl since early on, but in the last few weeks doubting myself. Unlike my other two pregnancies, I can truly say this time that I will be 100% happy with whatever gender this baby turns out to be.